If I Was The One
by Takako
Summary: He had been so thick. So stupid to let his own happiness slip away." Taiora Songfic - If I was The One by Ruff Endz


**If I was the one**

By Takako

There was nothing he could do to prevent her to fall in love with him, his best friend, Yamato Ishida. The young rising rock star, with girl fans squealing as he walks pass by... he was just so damn popular and Taichi could see the logical behind why Sora had chosen to fall for him. He was pretty sure that she didn't only fell for his looks, nor his fame. Yamato was a determined and aggressive person, and someone who can offer protection, which was what Sora was seeking for.

He had been struggling with his feelings for Sora ever since the first Digital World Adventure ended. Just when he had made his mind up that he had been head over heels for her since the camp, she had phoned him that night, telling him that she needed some advice from a best friend that knows her better than herself. And she had spilled the beans. She told her about her feelings for Yamato, how she had missed seeing him when he was not around, how she could felt her cheeks burning when he talked to her and how his stares always managed to give her shivers down her spine. Taichi, being the responsible and dutiful best friend, supported Sora's confession to Yamato. He had suggested her to start by baking cookies for him and visit him during his band practice for the upcoming Christmas Concert. She begged for his presence as a moral support and he could not find a reason to reject her. So there he was, witnessing the whole transaction taking place right before his eyes, both of them so obviously in love with each other. Perhaps I should keep it inside, he thought, those feelings I have for her.

He had been so thick. So stupid to let his own happiness slip away.

I see the way he treats you,  
I feel the tears you cried,  
And it makes sad, and it makes mad,  
There's nothing I can do baby.

Sometimes he thought his feelings for her were over. After seeing her and Yamato countless times together, he knew sooner or later it would make him give up his remaining feelings for her. Every time he managed to leave his feelings for her behind and move on, she kept on coming back to him, as if giving him hopes again, although he doubt that she even notices herself.

Cause your lover is my best friend,  
And I guess that's where the story ends.  
So I've gotta try, to keep it inside.  
You will never be, never be mine but,

So each time she comes back haunting him, he will have to take his time and cover up his overflowing feelings for her. With this occasional event happening in his life, it was hard to move on at all. For all these years all he could think about was her. He never knew how he had managed to get through their wedding. His sister, Kari, probably being the only person who knew about the emotional turmoil that was going on in her brother's heart, suggested him to back out and pretend that he was sick or out of town for a business trip. But they were both his best friends, nevertheless, he knew he had to face it one day. After seeing them exchanging their everlasting vows to each other, he thought, I'll give up, this is where this whole fantasy ends, it's over.

If I was the one who was loving you, baby.  
The only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.  
And if I was by your side,  
You'll never know one lonely night  
And if it was my arms you were running to,  
I'd give you love in these arms of mine.  
If I was the one in your life.

And so he went, had fun making a fool of the newlyweds, receiving concerning glances from his sister and watched them off to their honeymoon. That night he had came up with one conclusion: Sora Takenouchi was officially Sora Ishida. She would never be anyone else's. It was time for him to give up, but he never knew it would be that hard. He had thought of cutting off all the connections between them, forcing himself to concentrate on his work and making himself as busy as possible. He had received all the traveling jobs that the company had offered, flying from Australia to the States every other month for a few weeks. His sister had obviously discovered the problem, but due to her position, she was helpless. During the times away from Japan, Tai tried to forget about Sora. Sometimes he thought he had managed to do so, but each time when he returned to Japan and saw her, all the feelings came rushing back.

If I could have just one wish,  
I'd wish that you were mine,  
I would hold you near,  
Kiss away those tears.  
I'd be so good to you baby.  
You're the one I want next to me,  
But I guess that's just not meant to be.  
He's there in your life,  
And he's sharing your nights,  
It'll never be, never be right.

He wondered how many lonely nights he had spent thinking about her... with his best friend. How painful it was to watch them together. How hard it was to forget about her, how hard it was to erase all the memories with her. How cruel God was to him. What had he done to receive this torture? He wanted to run away from Japan, run away from them, but he knew this would not solve the problem. He had his family and friends here and of course, he could not bare the pain of not seeing her once in a while. It was so contradicting. How he wish it were as easy as defeating the bad Digimon back in the Digital World.

If I was the one who was loving you, baby.  
The only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.  
And if I was by your side,  
You'll never know one lonely night  
And if it was my arms you were running to,  
I'd give you love in these arms of mine.  
If I was the one in your life.

A year ago, he had heard of the divorce between Sora and Yamato through his sister. It wasn't for a while that his sister had told him about what had happened: it was said that Yamato had left her for his career, he was offered a better job in the States. Sora, who had a steady job as a fashion designer, and was slowly gaining fame due to the praises of her work, didn't want to move. She didn't want to give up her job and her dream, she didn't want to give up everything she had now that she had had started from scratch. So they parted and it was the end of their 3 years of marriage.

It wasn't until a few months that the truth was revealed. Yamato left for a younger woman.

Tai never knew his best friend would do such thing. And now he regret even more, not only had he let go of his own happiness, but he had also caused hers to slip away. If he had had the courage to tell her, she would have never experience the pain she was going through now.

Yeah, baby.  
I wanna reach out and view beside me,  
Right here beside me, babe.  
Take you in my arms right there,  
Scream 'I love you' right out loud.  
Some day I pray, that I'll find the strength,  
To turn to you and say,

They talked often on the phone, usually casual chatting about life, occasionally about everyone. Once in a while, they had dinner together or shared a Sunday afternoon at the movies. To Sora, it was a friend who still cared about her and was helping her to ease the pain. But to Tai, it was different. He was in love with her all over again, but he knew it. Her heart was still with Yamato; she was still in love with him. He knew she cried over him and thought about him everyday.

It was just not right to barge in now. Tai didn't want to add more trouble to her already troubled mind.

"I love him. I still do now." She paused. "I know it sounds stupid. I know I'm suppose to hate him, but I can't bring myself to do so. I guess I love him more than I can imagine."

If I was the one who was loving you, baby.  
The only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.  
And if I was by your side,  
You'll never know one lonely night  
And if it was my arms you were running to,  
I'd give you love in these arms of mine.  
If I was the one in your life.

So his words left unheard, his love for her was buried deep in his heart, for he knew her heart was not with his; he was not the one in her life. He knew he was a dear friend to her, but he will never be the one.

If I was the one, if I was the one,  
In your life.


End file.
